Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize