Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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