I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
