you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
