9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
