It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
