I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i would punch a child for taco bell
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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