Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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