Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
