i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Randomize
