Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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