yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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