i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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