small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
