I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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