it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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