I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize