how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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