It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
