i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
