i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
