No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
then he tried to convert me to islam
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
