i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
