My hand turned me down
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
