they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
