My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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