I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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