sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
