never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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