I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
