Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
3 2 1 whiskey
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
