When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize