Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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