Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
