Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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