i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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