The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
