Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
