clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The uberlube is also flammable
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
