Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
