last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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