Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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