I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
