My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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