I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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