i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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