Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
