The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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