Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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