so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
