you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
