What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize