At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Sorry about my life...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
