I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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