I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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