I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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