Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Fuck appropriateness.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
