just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
