I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
