I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
