Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
