Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
