Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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