He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
