Pregnant stripper...not hot.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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