He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
